Originally from Jammu & Kashmir, Shailja Tiku, who has been crowned Mrs Wisconsin International 2019, is an epitome of ‘beauty with a purpose’.
Already donning many hats, that include being a PhD student in public health, while also fulfilling her role as a daughter, a wife, a doctor, and a mother, Shailja did not only participate in the pageant, her first, but also won the crown.
A little about her:
She was born to a Kashmiri Pandit family in Gandhi Nagar Jammu. She did her schooling from MHAC Nagbani, Jammu, and a little bit from Presentation Convent, Srinagar. For her MBBS, she went to GMC Jammu. For further studies, she came to the USA. She has done Master’s in Public health, went on to do MD (i.e. Doctor of Medicine), and at present, she’s a PhD student. On the personal front, she’s married to Amit, who is also a doctor, and they have an 8-year-old son.
In a candid conversation with Jammu Links News, Shailja talks about her journey, her take on mental health, ‘beauty’ and lots more.
Congratulations on winning the Mrs Wisconsin International 2019. What was the driving force behind the decision to contest for this pageant?
Shailja Tiku: Thank you so much! Actually, I come from an academic background, and had so much on my plate already – my PhD, my family, and my work. So, for me to contest a pageant, there had to be a very good reason.
One, unlike many countries, where it is only about fashion, glitz and glamour, I discovered this particular beauty pageant as ‘platform-based’, that is, the person must have a social cause. Being a doctor, my passionate concern and training has been in public health.
However, for this pageant, my platform was specifically mental health promotion. Two, it was like stepping into my subject, outside of what other people wanted me to do.
Not everyone gets a second chance, and it is upon us to do the best we can in this one life of ours. So, I just went ahead to avail this opportunity, and one thing led to another.
For someone, who is not familiar with Mrs Wisconsin International pageant system, will you tell us about it?
Shailja Tiku: Mrs Wisconsin International is a global level beauty pageant. The winner, hence chosen, represents the state in the Mrs International pageant, which is a global pageant conducted by International Pageants Inc. I’ll be competing (as much as I don’t like to use the word competing), with women from around the USA and other countries.
This particular pageant, which is ‘platform-based’ as mentioned before, is about showcasing the achievements of married women, in terms of education, family life, career, and public service of some kind. They look for women of substance, women who can serve as a role model.
There are three judging criteria, namely, interview, fitness wear and evening gown. The fitness wear round, where they judge you on the basis of your physical fitness, constitutes 25% of the total score. Same weightage is given to evening gown round, where you walk on stage in those pretty gowns. The interview makes up for 50% of your overall score. Answers count.
Being a Non-Resident Indian (NRI), did you face some sort of problems; or rather you had an advantage over other contestants?
Shailja Tiku: I’ve been living in Wisconsin for 15 years, to say, and by now, we have adapted and adjusted ourselves to the system here, and got to know so many people. But yes, when you immigrate to any country, you are uprooted from your place and distanced from your family, friends. I’ve had a very protective and sheltered childhood back in Jammu, and here, we are on our own. I’ve received a lot of love and support from Wisconsin, during the pageant and otherwise.
I think that any struggle I faced during the pageant, was not anything related to the pageant, but just the overall process of not living at your place.
The crowning ceremony is not the end of one’s journey. Post-pageant, what has life been like for you?
Shailja Tiku: It is very different from what it was! I started as a medical student, and with the pageant, I have expanded my horizons. I have learnt new skills including Marketing, Public Relations, Social Media Management, and much more. Notably, I’ve overcome some of my fears, to become less anxious and more confident. All this is something that I’ve never dealt with before, but it is very rewarding at the same time.
I need a good number of followers on my social media pages, and for me, who has not been very active on social media, it is quite difficult to get people to follow my page.
Secondly, I have to work to get sponsors, which help financially and in reaching out to more people with my message. I didn’t even know what they do, let alone knowing how to get sponsors. But I was lucky enough and guided rightly. I found my first sponsors from the people I knew, like my gym, my salon, etc.
Now, being a title holder, you want to touch lives, for which I go to various events, I volunteer for various activities. Also, through social media, I share resources and raise awareness regarding mental health, and public health, in general. For instance, I shared a video ‘Facing your fears’, where I talked about my anxiety and how did I overcome it. Some people messaged me that they could resonate with me and how did it helped them overcome some of their fears.
Crown is an honour and privilege, which brings with it a set of responsibilities and commitments. It is kind of a new job that I have, on top of everything else in my life, which I do not take lightly. I was just crowned in September and in 4 months, I feel like I have grown a lot, as a person, as well as a mother.
From what we can gather, you have a very busy life. How are you striking a balance between pageant related stuff, your family, and your PhD?
Shailja Tiku: Striking a balance is yet another challenge for me. I’m figuring out what to do (laughs). I try to take my son with me wherever I can, like my school or some event, so that I get to spend more time with him. We, as a family, go on vacations, to be together.
PhD in itself is hard and a lot of work. Now, being a state title holder, I’ve called upon myself more work. I’m not trying to strike a balance, in fact, I’m trying it mix it up as much as I can.
“My son is my greatest cheerleader”, why do you say that? How supportive your family and in-laws have been in your journey?
Shailja Tiku: My son, Arin, who’s just 8-years-old, is very adorable. He has helped me with choosing dresses for events. He made all the ‘to-do lists’ for me, kept on telling me “mom you’ve to do this”. For an anxious and first-timer in pageant person like me, he was a great help. When I won the title, he was the first person I called up. He got all excited. I vividly remember seeing him dancing and jumping.
My parents are the best parents a girl could have. They have been protective, caring and always there for me with all of their support. They were unsure, actually taken aback, when they got to know about me contesting a beauty pageant. They were here in the US, visiting me, when I was crowned and I know for sure, they were happy to see me happy.
The same goes for my husband, Amit. He’s very supportive and continues to be. All of this couldn’t have been possible without him. My in-laws, who live in New Delhi, tell me that they are proud of me, and I’m yet to meet them in person.
Your platform is ‘Mental Health Promotion’, which complements your subject ‘Public Health’. How does the pageant help you with your cause?
Shailja Tiku: It is a win-win situation both ways. My platform is to promote mental health, and especially, fight the stigma associated with mental health. As a doctor, my reach or impact would have been limited, but with the pageant, I have got an opportunity to reach out to more people, inspire them and improve the overall health scenario to some extent. Winning the title has brought me in a position where people are willing to listen to me and maybe, follow what I say.
The pageant is platform-based, and I have a platform. The pageant is partnered with the American Heart Association, and I am a doctor, already working for public health. So, all of this is very well aligned with my subject and platform.
Being a beauty pageant winner, what are your thoughts on ‘beauty’, and especially, the stereotypes associated with them?
Shailja Tiku: I will use the word ‘beauty’ with caution. For me, beauty is much more than physical attributes, because physical attributes only last for some time and are skin-deep. It is the inner beauty that is more important and it lasts forever.
The term ‘beauty’ is subjective, keeping in view the different skin tones, body shapes of people, and the cultures which decide what or who is ‘beautiful’. As a fair skinned Kashmiri Pandit woman in India, I had an unearned privilege and continue to have. I did not do anything to get the fair skin, I was just born with it. By privilege, I mean that I don’t have to worry about my skin colour or physical looks. People call me beautiful and attractive for I’m fair. I might have been ugly on the inside, but beauty is limited to outward appearances.
Such stereotypes, in a way, are dissuading young girls from embracing themselves and loving themselves. We have created issues of body dissatisfaction. The girls, then develop mental health issues, get low on self-esteem, because they are made to think that they do not match certain standards of beauty. We body shame them. We suggest them fairness creams and what not. Why? Every person is unique, then why he/she should be compared with some other person in any way? I really hope the situation changes for good.
You are breaking the stereotypes, so many of them.
Shailja Tiku: I do wish to break the unhealthy stereotypes, and maybe, I’ve been able to break a few of them.
According to me, beauty pageants must be inclusive. Firstly, pageants should not be seen as something which judge only on the basis of physical attributes of what they consider ‘beautiful’.
Secondly, the notion that ‘women who participate in such pageants think only about fashion and glamour, not educationally accomplished and have nothing else to do in their life’, needs to be thrown out of the window. I believe that I am educationally accomplished, doing a lot of hard work on several fronts, pageant being one of them.
Thirdly, with my journey, I wish to inspire women to not torment themselves over ‘body-image issues’ and disturb their mental health. Through this platform, I would like to ask all the girls to focus on education, career, try to be independent in life, and be proud of yourself. You’re worthy in every way.
You’ll be vying for the Mrs International title in 2019. What are your other plans?
Shailja Tiku: Yes, I’m looking forward to Mrs International pageant. I’ll also get my doctorate. Then, I hope to work with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, USA, and towards the integration of primary care, mental health and preventive care.
With the State title win, have the expectations of people around you increased? Does that make you feel under pressure?
Shailja Tiku: People are definitely rooting and cheering for me. Nevertheless, I’m not getting anxious about it or feel as if there’s any sort of pressure on me to win the international title. I’ll do the best as I can.
You are making India and Indians proud. How does that feel?
Shailja Tiku: Thank you very much! It’s an honour and the biggest compliment for me. I will do my best to make India and Indians even more proud. I have a special mention for the people of my hometown, Jammu, for their immense love and support.
In a nutshell, Shailja Tiku, with her intellectual prowess and personality, is set to conquer hearts.
Follow her journey here:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pg/mrswi.int2019/posts/?ref=page_internal
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mrswisconsin.intl.2019/
Also: Read my article at JAMMU LINKS NEWS
Decoding Shailja Tiku – ‘Beauty with a Purpose’
http://www.jammulinksnews.com/newsdetail/179510/Jammu-Links-News-Decoding_Shailja_Tiku_-_Beauty_with_a_Purpose
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